Malapropisms and Mondegreens

Sounds like a mouthful, doesn’t it? The funny thing about mispronouncing either of these terms is that both are related to mispronunciation or misinterpretation of words. You would think that alone would warrant some simpler monikers. Nevertheless, I have been accumulating a list of these for a while and thought it would be amusing to share. For more examples of both, check out this website.

Pronunciation, Enunciation, Articulation
I think we all know people who butcher the pronunciation of certain words, or that just make up words altogether. While it is generally easy enough to figure out what it is they meant to say, not enunciating clearly can generate a poor impression. While in certain casual situations this can be pretty entertaining, in other, more professional situations it is highly embarrassing and possibly detrimental to long-term success. People who are considered to be articulate are generally perceived as being more intelligent (whether it’s true or not). While none of us are perfect, learning to pronounce words correctly and enunciate clearly shouldn’t be about seeking perfection. It should be a conscious decision to not sound like an idiot. Is that clear enough for you?

Several years ago, I worked with someone who was guilty of making up words. Unfortunately, he was making up business terms. The idea that he could be using these terms with customers was appalling. (And secretly hilarious.) The hardest part was keeping a straight face if one of these words appeared in casual conversation, or especially in group meetings. One of these verbal bombshells would drop and suddenly everyone was ducking for cover to avoid catching someone else’s eye and exploding with laughter. Ah, those were good times. So here is an example for you.

“Why is this group making demandments on my people?” The first time I heard him say this, my brain just stopped processing the rest of the conversation. I was just stuck on the word. Did I hear it correctly? Am I supposed to correct him? What if I laugh? Oh God, don’t think about laughing. Don’t do it. Don’t do it. Think about dead puppies. Keep nodding like you are paying attention.

It may not have been that word specifically (or pacifically, if you prefer) that started the list, but it sure held a prominent place. Here are examples of some of the others that I have heard or have been told to me by family and friends. If you can’t spot the offending word, please let me know so I can make fun of you.

• “Your point is mute.”
• “I started talking about one thing, but then I went off on a tandem.”
• “I was so angry, I was vivid.”
• “Irregardless of what you think, you can’t have too many pairs of shoes.”

“Worms, Roxanne! I was afraid of Worms!”
Recognize the line? Steve Martin and Daryl Hannah ring any bells? When I was looking into the malapropisms site, I came across the term mondegreens. The site describes it as an aural malapropism. Simple, huh? Basically, instead of saying something incorrectly, you are hearing something incorrectly.

The easiest example of this is song lyrics. I think we are all guilty of thinking we hear one lyric only to find out later (sometimes years later) what the actual lyric is. I don’t know about you, but even after hearing the correct lyric, I have a hard time using it initially because I am so used to the other. I also find that there are particular singers I am more likely to mishear as well. Elton John has always been a tough one for me.

There are a couple of books floating around out there that deal with this subject. One is called “When a Man Loves a Walnut” and the other is “’Scuse me while I kiss this guy”. Some of the lyrics they identify are really funny. Some of them I think are a real stretch. They also like to single out Elton John. Seriously, Benny and the Jets is a disaster. I looked up the lyrics and I didn’t recognize most of them.

One really funny movie moment (I’ll commit to the moment, although I really do like the movie too.) was Whoopi Goldberg in Jumping Jack Flash. She was trying to figure out the song lyrics to the Rolling Stones song Jumping Jack Flash. Some of the stuff she was coming up with was pretty funny.

One last thing, and this is all the space I am going to dedicate to it. Also contained in the website I referenced as part of famous malapropisms is a section on George Bush and a list (A list! As in more than one!) of his own malapropisms. It even bears his name: Bushisms. The fact this thing not only exists, but carries it’s own name is seriously embarrassing.