Save Yourself

How much time did I spend as a kid thinking about the man, the money, the house I would have one day? Disney wasn’t much help, was it? All of the fairy tales about the disadvantaged girl being rescued and whisked away to her castle and financial freedom seems a lot to wish for. I can’t even be bothered to buy a lottery ticket.

I saw the Sex and the City movie this weekend and there was a scene where Carrie was reading Cinderella to Charlotte’s daughter. After the story finishes, she remarks to the little girl that her life won’t likely turn out the same as the story she just read. It seems like a cynical thing to say to a 5 year old who just wants to be a princess, but it doesn’t make her wrong.

I guess what I am wondering is when I knew that no prince was going to come rescue me and that I was going to have to save myself. Sure it’s a fun girlfriend kind of topic to talk about finding the billionaire that realizes he can’t live without you, but winning that kind of love lottery that comes with an endless supply of money seems like the worst sort of delusion. Why do I need someone else to rescue me?

Part of this attitude also comes as I sit and anxiously watch the economy as I’m sure most all of us are doing. Gas prices, food prices, housing fiascos, all make the rescue fantasy a lot more appealing. Still, as I sit and watch my dollars cover less of my expenses, the last thing I want to do is drag someone else into my nightmare. Misery may love company, but my attitude is to keep that part of my life my own burden to bear. I created my situation, so I don’t expect anyone but me to fix it. And I am fixing it. I have to fix my financial resume the same as I would for a job.

It feels like I am embarking on a weird diet. Changes have been made to cut costs where I can and this summer should be an interesting experiment in living more frugally. I have never been a big supporter of the word “budget” but it is a necessary evil now. I have a very uneasy feeling about becoming a bargain hunter. It’s like trying to become a vegan after a lifetime of meat. One of my most ridiculous and dangerous expenses is smoking. Soooo….once again I am going to quit. I have a trip coming up for work followed by a visit from my sister. That should give me a whole week of smoke free time to get me started. That first week won’t be the problem. The problem will come once I am back in my routine. Smoking is my stress crutch.

So maybe it’s time to pull out the post-it notes and start plastering everything with reasons why I am quitting. If you want to chime in with any, feel free. Here are some of the more obvious one to me.

1. Health…Duh. It‘s bad for me. Breath, skin, lung capacity, blood pressure, cancer…honestly, it’s beyond stupid to know I am consciously killing myself every day.
2. Money. I am estimating to save almost $150 a month. A month!! When you add it up and look at it on paper, it’s amazing to see where you are just hemorrhaging money.
3. Smell. It would be nice if my stuff didn’t smell like smoke. Even if others don’t notice it, I do.
4. Alcohol. Granted my consumption is very little. However, it will decrease even more if smoking is out.
5. Savings. I am saving money to buy a house. So now I have to ask myself the hard questions for every dollar I want to spend. Do I really need this? Can I find it cheaper? What will happen if I don’t buy it?
   

So, there it is. I have a rescue plan. Still, like anyone starting a new diet, you have to be realistic. Going cold turkey with this budget idea will backfire on me if I don’t schedule a “cheat” day now and again. I’m not talking about the smoking part here because there is no such thing as a cheat day. No, this is thinking about the other things I like to buy like books and music (I know you all think shoes should be listed here too, and I don’t blame you). Since there is no way I am going to do without either, I have to be better about planning it out.

I’m not exactly sure what that planning will look like although I have some ideas. I know when the books I am anticipating are coming out and in most cases I get sent coupons for discounts regularly, so maybe it means I don’t buy it the day it comes out but wait for the coupon first. I also have a library card, so I could go the route of checking it out rather than buying it. Or buy it second hand. Ok, I think I am starting to hyperventilate…..I’ll have to think about those options later.

As for music, Keane is coming out with an album at the end of this year and I’m sure the tour will be sometime the following year. Since I know its coming and I know I will go see them, I should start setting money aside for it now. How cool would it be to put that “smoking” money into the Keane fund? Now that’s what I call motivation.

So, we’ll see how it goes. Putting this all out here on the blog makes me feel more accountable. It’s a bit uncomfortable to share, but maybe I need the extra exposure to keep me honest. It seems ironic to me that my “save myself” plan involves letting other people know, but I suppose even if no one says a word to me about it, I’ll still know that you know.

PS. Happy Birthday to Bruce and Lori!!!