Creepy Preparations??

So here is an uncomfortable topic for you: eulogies. Why in the world would I bring this up? Hmm. Well, I suppose it’s time for another glimpse into something I don’t talk much about. Every once in a while I think about what it would be like to have to deliver a eulogy for someone I know. Before you get all freaked out on me (or put your request in), let me remind you of a few things about me.

I like to be prepared. Granted, unless someone is suffering from some sort of long term illness, I doubt most of us are at all prepared to lose someone. That being said, remember not so long ago when I was going on and on about Wills and Estate Planning? Well, I suppose this is an extension of where some of my thoughts were running at the time. As a matter of fact, I saw an article today on MSN which was appropriately titled, “How to Give a Eulogy.” Perhaps you saw it and decided it was something you didn’t want to think about, let alone read. Perhaps you saw it and thought it was a creepy topic, and yet curiosity overrode your sense of discomfort and you read it anyway. Or, like me, you read it, printed it, and stuck it on the bookshelf with your books on Estate Planning and your Will kit as a reference “just in case.”

Writing helps me express things not easily spoken. You may have noticed that there are some topics I have written about here that I am guessing you and I have never had a conversation about, right? I think that most of us have found that writing offers the opportunity to express your thoughts in a different way than speaking. Mostly from an editing perspective, I would imagine. When I write these entries, I always do drafts first. The times when I have just typed the entry in directly are the ones I would probably say I am most dissatisfied with when I see the published version.

It makes sense to me then to want to write out whatever I happened to be feeling at the time of loss. It really has less to do with having to deliver it to an audience than just releasing it out of my head and on to paper. Another reason for printing the article today was because I found it to be somewhat comforting to have some guidance at a time when my thoughts and feelings were most likely to be in a jumble. Plus, if I felt the need to stand up and say something, it would make me feel better having some helpful advice rather than just stand there and drone on about every moment I spent with that person.

Celebrate Good Times, Come On! In many instances it seems that coming together for a funeral or memorial service is more about celebrating the life that has passed rather than mourning it. Yes, there is grieving and sadness, but there is also an opportunity to hear and share fond memories with others who are going through this time with you. Chances are you each knew the person in a unique way. Maybe you want to share and maybe you don’t, but I personally wouldn’t like to hear a eulogy that was just a recitation of that person’s resume. I would like to be able to express why that person was special to me and maybe some memories that made a particular impression.

This may sound like a bizarre comparison, but I keep thinking about toasts made at weddings. (maybe it's the paragraph title that gets over-played at wedding receptions.) I just keep thinking about similarities in some of the things that get mentioned. You hear toasts that include how they grew up, the course their lives took to get them to that particular moment, humorous anecdotes about all kinds of things, and again, a celebration of a life. Granted, it is meant to celebrate a beginning rather than an end, but you get my meaning.

So there you go. I saw the article, it was on my mind, and now it’s out in the open.