What kind of crazy thing is this? I feel like George Costanza stuck in Opposite World. I’m so weary right now. I’m staring down the barrel of one more Christmas spent in mourning. If these things happen in three’s, then I’m done. I need to be done. I told Dad “no more” and he said OK. I’m going to hold him to that for at least another 20 years or something. We can negotiate later.
News has started to trickle out, but I may as well come clean here. Yesterday I lost one more member of the family: my stepmother. She and Dad celebrated their 5-year anniversary this summer. I thank God for those 5 years too. She was such a good match for my Dad. She was a fiery little Italian who knew how to push his buttons and then calm him. I saw such a transformation in him. My Dad is a nurturing kind of guy who found a good outlet in her. They seemed to be best friends that did everything together. If ever I needed a positive and realistic role model to hold up and admire, it was the two of them. They teased, bantered, argued and laughed a lot.
For the last 3 years I have had to watch my father lose such precious people. Yes, they are my loss as well, but it is so much easier to deal with my own grief that to bear witness to his. Parents never really stop teaching their children and once again I find myself playing student to his teacher in dealing with loss. As always, he is strong and positive, but it is a thin surface these days. His views on death are of a spiritual nature in that we are all energy that simply changes form. So rather than having lost these people, they have simply released themselves from the shells that were holding them. Simple yes, but comforting.
So as we all reach that point in the year where it is common to gather as a family, enjoy them. Laugh, argue, tease, and love one another.
Before I forget, the title does make reference to a wedding, and so will I. This coming summer I am attending a wedding. It also happens to fall close to my birthday, so I fully expect to be in a very celebratory mood. It’s nice to have something like this to look forward to, so thanks Katie and Chris. Here then is a picture from Dad’s wedding. It was such a fun time, even though I basically bawled like a baby. It was a special time as only weddings can be. The picture at the top was taken a couple of weeks before the wedding at our reunion here in Las Vegas.
News has started to trickle out, but I may as well come clean here. Yesterday I lost one more member of the family: my stepmother. She and Dad celebrated their 5-year anniversary this summer. I thank God for those 5 years too. She was such a good match for my Dad. She was a fiery little Italian who knew how to push his buttons and then calm him. I saw such a transformation in him. My Dad is a nurturing kind of guy who found a good outlet in her. They seemed to be best friends that did everything together. If ever I needed a positive and realistic role model to hold up and admire, it was the two of them. They teased, bantered, argued and laughed a lot.
For the last 3 years I have had to watch my father lose such precious people. Yes, they are my loss as well, but it is so much easier to deal with my own grief that to bear witness to his. Parents never really stop teaching their children and once again I find myself playing student to his teacher in dealing with loss. As always, he is strong and positive, but it is a thin surface these days. His views on death are of a spiritual nature in that we are all energy that simply changes form. So rather than having lost these people, they have simply released themselves from the shells that were holding them. Simple yes, but comforting.
So as we all reach that point in the year where it is common to gather as a family, enjoy them. Laugh, argue, tease, and love one another.
Before I forget, the title does make reference to a wedding, and so will I. This coming summer I am attending a wedding. It also happens to fall close to my birthday, so I fully expect to be in a very celebratory mood. It’s nice to have something like this to look forward to, so thanks Katie and Chris. Here then is a picture from Dad’s wedding. It was such a fun time, even though I basically bawled like a baby. It was a special time as only weddings can be. The picture at the top was taken a couple of weeks before the wedding at our reunion here in Las Vegas.
4 comments:
See, now you're making me cry again. You're not such a bad wordsmith yourself.
OH NO!!
That is so unfair.
She was so much fun and so great with your Dad. They really were a great match.
I remember when we moved you out to Vegas....she couldn't loose at anything she played. I remember following her around and she would just plop down at a game and start playing. Then we'd ask her what the heck she was playing. She'd reply "I don't know, but I'm up 200 dollars." Amazing person.
That was fun.
G
And party we shall! Glad we can give you something happy to celebrate in 2007. And we're even more happy that you'll be there with us.
I am very behind in reading your blogs. I have been up to date from Lydia when I get the chance to talk to her. Between her and family and my family we just don't have as much time to chat. :( Well, I finally came here to get caught up. I am so sorry for your loss. My Dad and his wife were married only five years when my Dad died of cancer too. I thought that was strange...anyway, I am sorry to hear of another loss for your family, and at such a family focused Holiday.
God Bless
~Shelley
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