All My Ex’s Named Gym

Gym and me have never been what you might call close friends, or even exclusive. (He kind of smells.) Throughout the years I have been involved with a number of gyms and all of them have essentially been the same. I keep thinking I can make it work, but I’m wrong every time. I get bored, I get busy with “other things”, or I just get lazy and stop making an effort. Whatever my excuse is, I am always the one that walks away. And every reaction is the same; there is no finger pointing, no name-calling, just a question why I left, a plea to come back, and then nothing. I don’t generally go back. There is always another gym and another idea that maybe this one will work out better.

I’ve been going through this cycle for years. As of today, there is a new gym in my life. And, as I’ve often thought, this time could be different. Not because this gym is different, but because I’m different. This time I have decided to get beyond the surface and invest a little more time and energy. I am making myself more accountable. In fact, to help start off this new romance with this new gym in my life, I have my very own Juliet to guide me. True, Juliet is historically associated with tragedy, but I have decided not accept any drinks from her and to keep an eye out for sharp objects. Aside from that, she has agreed to help gym and me get to know each other a little better.

It’s around here that my clever (or not so clever) metaphors are really going to start to go downhill, so I’ll quit. I tried to keep going, but it got weird. Anyway, I have a series of meetings with my new trainer over the next 2 weeks. She is going to set up some different routines for me, which is good since I get bored so easily. Plus, she doesn’t want to spend a lot of time focusing on a lot of the really fancy machines since I am not as likely to find them in the hotels when I travel. In order to make this fit into a schedule that I will keep even for these first 2 weeks, I am meeting her every other day at 6am. Getting it done so early in the day is good for me. Even if I revert to slug-like behavior the rest of the day, I will have started the day off right.

We’ll see how it goes. My goals are relatively simple. I want to strengthen my back because of all the heavy lifting I do with suitcases and laptop bags and because my posture is total crap. I also need to work on my lungs so I don’t wheeze like an 80-year-old woman when I exercise for more than 10 minutes. Aside from that, if other good things happen, so be it. My doctor will be thrilled with anything, I assure you. If he isn’t, I’ll just beat him down until he is.