Is Punk the New Pop?

I’ll say it. I don’t care for Hip Hop. There. Some of it is fine, but in general, I don’t go out of my way to listen to it. To me it still sounds like Rap, just with a melody. What I do find myself listening to is music that reminds me a lot of Punk from the 80’s. Now this in itself is not really a great stretch for me. I love 80’s music, but I was definitively a pop princess and not a punk whatever-you-would-call-them. I was more likely to listen to Wham! than The Cure.

I have purchased so much music this summer. I became such a fixture at Borders; I think they are going to name a pastry after me. (Probably some sort of tart, I imagine.) I also got a bit of an education into this word I had somehow managed to never hear before: Emo. Yeah, I know it’s been around forever. Like I said, not a lot of Punk hiding out in my music collection. Anyway, I seem to be making up for it. I believe I started with The Smiths. I really like them. From there, I focused more on newer artists.

I finally purchased a Green Day album. Hard to really call their new stuff Punk, isn’t it? The fact that it is so commercially successful probably doesn’t help. I still tend to think of Punk as the scary, pale kid with spiked hair and piercings wearing tartan and possibly a dog collar. Where before it was underground and edgy and cool, now that description could fit any number of bands I am seeing in heavy rotation on VH-1. The Killers, anyone? So apparently, I am still managing to stay true to my Pop roots.

One thing I should mention regarding Emo is that I certainly don’t find it all to be equal. There are a number of bands out there that I can’t seem to tell apart. Seriously, some song will come on the radio by the latest Snow Patrol, Fall Out Boy, Artic Monkey, Dashboard Confessional, Aqualung, Fray-band and I have no idea what the Hell I am listening to. And I don’t like Cold Play or James Blunt either. I’m good for about one song apiece and then it’s just noise. So here are some of the albums I bought this summer that I really like a lot:

• Kaiser Chiefs- Employment
• Camera Obscura- Let’s Get Out of This Country
• Imogen Heap- Speak for Yourself
• Keane- Under the Iron Sea
• KT Tunstall- Eye to the Telescope
• Wolfmother- Wolfmother

The other music I am listening to is more the dance/retro-disco stuff. It’s awesome. I need to check out the new Scissor Sisters album. I saw the new video this morning and I really like the song. I also saw a video for a group called OK GO. Too fun. I have to check that one out too. So here are more albums I bought that are a little easier to dance to:

• Yeah Yeah Yeahs- Show Your Bones
• Under the Influence of Giants- Under the Influence of Giants
• Panic! At the Disco- A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out
• Gnarls Barkley- St. Elsewhere

And finally, there has to be some mellow stuff too. I’ll also include the other albums that don’t seem to fit in the other lists.

• Katie Melua- Piece by Piece
• Ane Brun- A Temporary Dive
• Zero 7- The Garden
• Regina Spektor- Begin to Hope
• The Flaming Lips- At War with the Mystics
• Corinne Bailey Rae- Corinne Bailey Rae

Event Planning

I remember when I belonged to AAA. Planning a trip was pretty easy and those trip-ticks were great. For work travel, I have a corporate travel site. So that leaves personal trips. I have a weekend trip planned for the Fall and I cannot believe the amount of effort and time it’s taken to finally get all the details ironed out. Sure, I had some unique things to throw in there that I wouldn’t normally have, but I still didn’t think it would take up half the day.

Sleep
This is a short trip and I wanted to try and use my hotel points. This is easier said than done. First of all, I had to try and remember my account information when I went to the hotel website. Not a big deal if I am going through the corporate travel site, but doing this all on my own, I realized a couple of problems. First was the fact that I can’t remember ever being on this site before, so I have no idea if I have created a password or not. So, I tried to figure this out first. After lots of fun error messages and an extensive search through old emails, I finally gave up and went searching through my files for past statements. Yeah, I keep all of them for everything I belong to, doesn’t everyone? And there on page one for a statement that’s a good 6 years old is the information I’m looking for. Estimated time at this point is probably 30-45 minutes.

So once I can finally get in and review my account information, I now have to spend some time updating things like address, email, and all the rest of that stuff that is several years old. Once that is finally done, I can proceed to what I wanted to do in the first place, make a reservation. That process is easy enough and I am able to find what I need and apply my hotel points to them. And, now that I have updated my email information, I am reasonably confident that I will receive the appropriate confirmation emails and hotel certificates. But just in case, I go ahead and print everything anyway. Estimated time is now 90 minutes. At the end of this process I have 2 reservations and at least 6 emails sitting in my inbox.

Transportation
For such a short trip, I have managed to make transportation amazingly complex. In a 72-hour span of time I am driving and flying. Picking up a rental car in one location and returning to another. And I want to use an airline credit from a cancelled flight earlier this year. This alone is going to require at least 2 websites- Car and Airline. After fortifying myself with another cup of coffee, I begin.

I figure I’ll spend more time dealing with the airline, so I decide to tackle this first. I cross my fingers and hope that I can take care of what I need to do online. Amazingly enough, I can. Not only is my airline credit visible, applying it to the flight I want is as easy as clicking a button. No problem. Another email sitting in the inbox and it took me about 10 minutes. Wow. I know I have said it before, but I am in love with Southwest Airlines. Cattle call or no, they are by far the easiest and friendliest airline to deal with.

What was a little more surprising was the car reservation. Once again, this is a site I never visit because I generally make my reservations through the corporate site. So I have to go through the password process and updating information craziness before I can make my reservations. This took a bit longer, but still not bad. Probably 20-30 minutes and another couple of emails.

Where’s the Sun?
So now that I have a place to sleep and my transportation issues worked out, it’s time to figure out how to get from point A to point B. Google Maps is what I end up using. First, there is some pre-work involved. Since I love lists, I have to make a list of all the locations and the addresses. Once I have all of that handy, the map process is a lot easier. 6 maps later, I think I am finally ready to print everything.

You would think that is the end of it, right? Not quite. I don’t know about you, but I don’t completely trust any mapping software. I think we have all had experiences where strange directions appear that seem to take you far out of your way and of course, they can’t possibly account for construction. I also have a GPS system in my rental car reservation, but it hasn’t earned the name “Never Found” for nothing. So even after printing everything, I have to make some final searches just to be sure I have it all correct. That means going to each location for the trip and reviewing the directions they give for themselves. Hopefully, they know where they are, right? So a few more searches and notations later, I am finished.

I think all told I spent about 4 hours and printed about 12 pages of maps and confirmations. I feel pretty good at this point, but part of me is still going to try and be prepared for disaster. (If the f**king band cancels, for example) Believe me, if anything happens, you’ll hear about it.

5 More Things

The first list was a lot of fun to make, so I thought I would make another one. Enjoy!

5 Names I might have chosen if I could have named myself

• Penny
• Veronica
• Ginger
• Savannah
• Frankie (Francesca)

5 Bands your parents made you listen to

• The Beatles
• Bread
• The Seekers
• The Kingston Trio
• The Mama's and Papa's

5 Bands you would be a backup singer for

• Meatloaf
• Indigo Girls
• George Michael
• Prince
• Rufus Wainwright

5 Fashion trends you should have avoided, but didn’t

• Peasant Blouses
• A-line skirts
• Rugby striped shirts
• Wrap dresses
• Palazzo Pants

5 favorite carbs (the ones I eat most often)

• Potatoes!!!!
• Tortilla chips (and salsa)
• Pad Thai
• English Muffins
• Scones

Boxing with Babies- There Really is no Sport to it

I used to watch the West Wing every week. It was my favorite show for a couple of years. There was one episode where Josh (played by Bradley Whitford) caught site of a website dedicated to him. As he was reading it, his assistant Donna warned him to stay away from the chat rooms because they were filled with crazy people. He, of course, ignored her and ended up sending a post. The rest of that episode is about him not understanding the heated responses he receives from his post and basically confirming that Donna was right all along.

I tell you this brilliant story because I also have to agree with Donna. People in chat rooms are crazy. I got sucked into one last night. I have no excuses for my behavior. I was mad and upset and spoiling for a fight. So I picked one. The blog I wrote yesterday about the band I like so much? I posted it on their fan site. Yeah, yeah, I know it was probably not such a great idea. Like I said, I really don’t have a good excuse. So I just sat back and waited. It didn’t take long at all really…

I have to believe that the poor girl I shred to pieces over the next couple of hours was in her early 20’s, if that. She was clearly upset over an earlier post (not mine) and came in guns ablazin’ armed with her Caps Lock, emoticons, and her exclamation points. No sign of spell check at all. Even though I wasn’t the main target, she did make references to my post, and that was all I needed. I took a lot of pleasure in purposely misunderstanding her and twisting her words back on her. In fact, it was a little disturbing how much fun I had sharpening my tongue with her. Shameful! I didn’t resort to name calling, but I did offer her some pointers on her posting techniques as well as pointing out all the holes in her arguments. Is it wrong to feel secretly proud of all the sarcastic zingers I hit her with? (It would have been better if she had understood them.) Each time I sent a response I told myself to quit picking on a little girl. And each time she would come back with some sort of lame defense and try to take another shot at me. It was amusing, but it got old. (Sigh) I have nieces that are probably close to her age. I feel like I should call them and apologize. People in chat rooms are crazy, and I was probably the worst offender last night.

This morning I checked the site out again and she had sent me a private email. She was really upset now, but more in a bewildered, wounded sort of way and not in a hysterical rant like last night. Feeling like I had just told her there was no Santa, I made nice and told her we would just have to agree to disagree. I also apologized to her for purposely going after her. And then I couldn’t resist pointing out to her the perspectives she was still refusing to see (not agree with) and why I bothered to respond to her in the first place. I saw she responded back to me this afternoon, also apparently a little more clear-headed. She used full sentences and everything! Not only did she finally agree that she could have expressed herself a little better, but she even wished me and mine a safe and happy summer. Awww! We are looking forward to being lifelong friends and have agreed to exchange Christmas cards and cookie recipes from now on.

Snickerdoodle!!!

Suffering from Exhaustion?

Warning: My favorite band is having some "issues" and I was a little upset to read about it.

What a damn cliché. Substance abuse for a celebrity initially reported as “suffering from exhaustion.” Who buys this excuse anymore? The industry needs a new word for cokehead. I think we’ve all caught on to this one. And then the statements issued about how brave they are for admitting they have a problem, about wanting to get treatment, and apologizing for disappointing their family, friends, and fans. They didn’t give a shit about any of that while they were snorting coke and guzzling booze. Chances are the effects were starting to become way too obvious and they were about to be exposed anyway. How can these publicists stand their jobs? All they do is lie and spin and then deny and spin some more. What are they doing? Protecting the image of the band? Bulls**t. More like protecting the investment of the record company.

How many times are we going to have to hear the same old stories about a band’s meteoric rise to fame only to burn out because none of them understood how to handle it? It’s every damn episode of Behind The Music, just cut and paste the band name. How can you be a member of society in a developed country and not realize that money and fame and constant adulation will corrupt you if you let it? I don’t understand the need to follow in the long line of (mostly dead) drug addict muscians that came before in the name of experiencing the “Rock N Roll” lifestyle. Exhaustion! Of course he’s exhausted. He’s probably been awake for days.

I know I’m way, way up on my high horse here, but I really don’t understand the allure and dark romance of abusing drugs. Is it really as simple as wanting to do something forbidden? Is it about testing the boundaries of your celebrity status to see what you can get away with? Is it about subscribing to the agreed upon lifestyle of a Rock and Roll celebrity because it is expected? Is it the only way to be considered cool or important to the industry or your peers? Why does becoming a celebrity suddenly make it ok and even anticipated that you will believe all your media hype and all the ego stroking from your Record Company down to your fans ultimately turning into a**holes and taking for granted all the goals you worked so hard to achieve? Why do we hear these stories and call them “classic"? It’s pathetic and a total waste.

It’s not that I don’t understand on a very small scale what having an addiction feels like, or how hard it is to quit something that’s bad for you even when you want to, but somehow I managed to draw the line between sucking on a cancer stick and sticking needles in my arm or pickling my liver with Vodka. Granted, am I the one singing in front of thousands of people for a living, giving endless interviews, circling the globe on an endless merry-go-round of planes, trains, buses, and hotels? No. I didn’t make that choice. They did. The sheer idiocy and selfishness involved in destroying the talent you are being recognized for is completely beyond me.

And what are those brilliant excuses you hear? They started using drugs to:

Stay awake
Go to Sleep
Cope with Stress
Relax
Fit In

Maybe it’s the control freak in me talking here, but I have to believe that I would find another way to alleviate boredom or stress than disassociating with drugs and alcohol. But maybe (and I’m stretching here), I am looking at it the wrong way and it really is about control. It’s about taking control of the one thing left to them in their highly managed, overly exposed, relentlessly driven lives: their bodies. Perhaps they don’t get to make decisions about their touring schedule, but by God, they can decide how they are going to party every night of that tour.

Regardless of the excuse, guess what? It’s a bad decision. And it was all yours to make. You suck. Even though I want him to recover and be healthy (and grow the f**k up), I am always going to feel disappointed that he went down that road in the first place. Now he's just like everyone else.

Crushed

I think I am starting to get a crush on my UPS guy. For the last few months, I have gone to the UPS store near me weekly to send in expense reports or ship boxes of stuff to my sisters. So, since he is one of the few people I see on a regular basis in this town (aside from all my new best friends at the spa), we are moving beyond the generic “Hi, How are you today?” sort of conversation.

I hadn’t really thought too much about the situation until a few weeks ago. Two strange events that seemed to wake me up from whatever fog I was in. The first was showing up just as they were closing. Normally, I take care of my UPS errands during the day, but for whatever reason I slacked off until the end of the day. Anyway, as I was sitting in my car squinting to try and read the sign that has their hours posted, I see my guy come to the door and wave for me to come on in. I asked him if he was sure and he said it was no problem. So I went in and saw that the place was dark, the chain curtain they roll out was in place and it looked like he was ready to walk out the door when I showed up. He said he hadn’t shut the computer down yet, so he could still take care of whatever I needed. Good customer service? Hmmmm. This leads me to the second event.

During this same visit when he let me in, he starts making small talk. Ok, so knowing how I feel about small talk in general, you would think I would make some non-committal remarks and then be on my way. (In fact, I think I may have already mentioned this event in another blog.) However, he decided to start talking about the weather. To put this in context, it was July and so the daily temperatures around here were 110 degrees easily. Soooo, seemingly out of nowhere he asks me “Do you know if it’s going to be hot this weekend?” The look on my face was pure confusion, I’m sure. I wasn’t sure if he was serious or trying to be funny. I think at that point he realized the strangeness of the question and was embarrassed. Again, was he just making polite small talk with a customer and not even paying attention to what he was saying? Or was it something else?

I stopped by today to send in another expense report. While I was there I decided to get some information about a special they are running on mailbox rentals. When I first walked in, my guy was helping another customer. However, as soon as I asked the woman helping me about the mailbox deal, he stepped in to tell me all about it. I didn’t do anything yet (special or not, it’s more expensive than I expected), but I’m thinking about it. It would be nice to have a mailbox bigger than a loaf of bread.

Anyway, nothing overt or obvious has happened and maybe it won’t, but I needed to add a little drama over here, so apparently this is it for now. Stay tuned….

5 Things

I received one of those emails this week. You know the ones; they come from friends or coworkers or friends who used to be coworkers. They ask you about your favorite things or things you would bring on a desert island, or wishes you want to make, and so on. Basically, they are only a small step up from a chain letter. Most of the time I don’t bother with them, but sometimes I can’t resist. I received one this week and I filled it out and sent it back. I even copied 2 other people on it.

So I started thinking about the other things you could ask people. Forget the fantasy stuff, I want to know real things. I want to know about things in your everyday life that make you who you are. I want to know things that would surprise me. Not surprise me, as in freak me out, but surprise me because I know you and still don’t know everything about you. Forget the list of celebrities you want to stalk and tell me the list of junk food hidden your cabinets. Instead of telling me your favorite movies, tell me the ones you are embarrassed that you own.

Now I would never ask anyone to answer anything I wouldn’t answer myself, so here is a list of topics I started while sitting at breakfast yesterday.

5 Guilty Pleasure songs on your iPod (or similar type of song catalog):

• Britney Spears- Toxic
• Kermit the Frog- Rainbow Connection
• Ashley Simpson- L.O.V.E.
• Backstreet Boys- As Long As You Love Me
• Ricky Martin- She Bangs
  

5 Things to confess (or maybe NEVER confess) to your parents

• Having sex in the house.
• Having sex while they were in the house.
• Finally admitting that yes, I was the one who moved the gun.
• Until I was finally caught, I shoplifted everything I could get my hands on.
• Dad, you were right about that whole computer thing. Who knew this is where I would end up?
  

5 Majors You Wish You’d Chosen Instead

• Theater
• IT
• Journalism
• Music
• Film Studies (is that part of Mass Comm.?) I don’t know.
  
  

5 Movies you are Embarrassed to Own:

• What a Girl Wants
• The Pacifier
• The Pirate Movie
• Galaxy Quest
• Shanghai Knights
  
  

5 things in your junk drawer:

• Magnetic Poetry Kit
• Sink Stopper with a Pig on it
• Cat Butts- Field Guide (Long story. A result of my using the phrase “cat’s ass” a lot. Basically, I have a set of magnets on the fridge that are nothing but cat butts. The field guide came with it as a way “to help you get started with the wonderful hobby of cat watching and identification through the butt.” I have some weird friends.)
• Personal Pocket and Purse Pak- first aid kit clearly not kept in my purse or pocket.
• Mammowipe. I kid you not. Last year when I went in for my mammogram, they had these “patient cleansing towlettes” in the room called Mammowipes. I had to grab a couple of those.
  

Ok, so there you go. Now that is some information that you probably didn’t know about me. Not sure exactly what it’s supposed to reveal about me other than some questionable music and movie purchases. And that I need to clean out that junk drawer.

Working for the Weekend

There is a light at the end of the tunnel. It’s my last week on this very lengthy project. This week is all about wrapping things up. That means some late nights and emergency chocolate. It also means a bit of a dry spell for blog topics. I hate the idea of writing just for the sake of writing, but here I am doing it. It reminds me of when my Grandpa would call my Dad to tell him he had nothing new to tell him. He did that every day.

So, it’s a sprint to the Finish Line this week. If anything interesting happens this week, aside from how much coffee I can consume on a daily basis, I’ll be sure and keep you updated.

Dehydrated, Chapped and Covered in Germs

Lucky me. Yesterday I woke up, turned on the news, and experienced the emotional high and low of yesterday's travel news. I was glad obviously, that the latest terror plot had been uncovered before I had to step on a plane. I was also glad that I wasn't trying to get in or out of London yesterday.

However, for all my happy thoughts about the "good guys" finding the "bad guys", I also had a bad feeling about trying to fly home and what kind of delays were in store for me. Turns out, everything was pretty much status quo when I got to the airport. I already knew about the ban on all liquids, so I had to move my eye drops, hand lotion, and Purell (that really sucked) into my checked bag. I also knew I wasn't going to be able to bring a bottle of water on the plane as I normally would. The airport had huge trash cans everywhere for people to dump their things if they couldn't or wouldn't put them in their luggage.

All in all, things weren't too awful in the airport in terms of getting through security. I think it was really a positive reflection on the TSA organization in how quickly they were able to incorporate the new restrictions and get enough staff in place so the delays through security were minimal. The worst delay, which was no surprise to me, was a ground delay before take off. Hard to know for sure if it was related to the events of the day or just a busy air traffic time as usual in the Northeast. Regardless, I was stuck on the ground for another 2 1/2 hours before we were finally able to take off.

One other thing to note here was that I was flying a different airline than normal. Since I wasn't on Southwest, it meant I had a seat assignment, a movie, real food (for purchase, of course) and all the "frills" that Southwest lacks. Honestly? They can keep their damn frills. I had a miserable flight. Starting with my seat assignment (which was on the aisle) next to an elderly woman with the World's Smallest Bladder, to waiting over an hour at baggage claim for my luggage, I realized how much I love the bare-bones, extremely friendly, and chronically ON TIME nature of Southwest. Suddenly the cattle-call doesn't seem like such a hardship. Besides, having to get there so early for the line up means I have more time to drink my coffee before boarding.

The Tao of Shoes- Shoes for Whatever Direction Life Takes Me

Before I could start writing this topic, I needed to do some research. Sometimes the titles come to me first and then I need to figure out what I mean to say. In this instance, I had no idea what Tao meant. Kind of important since it appears in the title. So, after a short trip to wikipedia, I know more than I need to know. I happened to come across the Winnie the Pooh version, which seems like a fun way to learn about it. I sense another book to add to my library. So, my working definition for Tao would be “A particular way of appreciating, learning from, and working with whatever happens in everyday life.” And if Winnie the Pooh can have a version of Tao, I don’t see why I can’t have one related to shoes.

Simple and Uncomplicated
So if the basic principle here is to find a way to deal with everyday life, then it stands to reason the something simple and uncomplicated would take you pretty far. In shoe terms I am thinking of something that is the right size, provides good arch support, and probably has a sensible heel. (How many of you have seen me in shoes fitting that description?) You run into complications when straying from these basic ideas. My closet contains its fair share of these “complications.” From sizes that are aren’t quite right to heels that are impossibly high and therefore impractical, I end up taking away the simple fun of wearing new shoes.

Shoes for the Sake of Owning Shoes
A good friend and I often talk about our “retail therapy” sessions. We end up doing a lot of unnecessary shopping to help fill time, fill the closet, fill something. Buying shoes for the sake of owning them doesn’t sound like a great reason. If you aren’t going to use them or enjoy them, why waste the money, right? Once again, I can point to a few offenders in my closet that I have yet to wear since I purchased them. Something pretty, something flashy, something unique that caught my eye and triggered the “must own” directive in my head. I try to balance the work shoe and the play shoe. There is a difference between shoes that are appropriate for an office, that you can wear all day, and run through the airport, and those that you put on, then walk to the car and sit, walk to the restaurant and sit, walk to the theater and sit….you get the idea. I love owning these shoes and I own a lot of them, but wearing them is another story.

Shoes for the Sake of Complaining About Something
This is not where I start blaming my shoe shopping on the idea that I wasn’t hugged enough as a child. I think it’s a bogus excuse. I may joke about my retail therapy sessions and buy too many pairs of shoes, but I also manage to pay my bills, save for retirement, and buy food that isn’t limited to Ramen noodles and Spam. I think my shoe complaining is limited to blisters or bad arch support. Apparently I need to read the first section again about simple and uncomplicated. Instead, I bought these shoe stretcher things to help break in the new shoes. Oh, ok I’ll tell you a secret. I also wear new shoes when I vacuum. Is that weird? It seems like a 50’s housewife thing to do, but there you have it. Clean floors and stilettos, maybe I should have included this in the multi-tasking blog. Ah well. Needless to say, my floors get vacuumed a lot.

Knowing Your Limitations
I should probably refer to this as knowing the limitations of my bank account. But my initial thought is more along the lines of the limitations of my closet space. There are shoes everywhere. Given my penchant for organization, my closet has gone through a number of “reorganizations” to try and accommodate them all. It isn’t working.

I have tried a number of different storage options. I can tell you that I am not a fan of the over-the-door shoe racks. I just don’t like them. I have also finally weaned myself off of the plastic shoe racks that snap together. Those things are a killer to take apart and put back together. I also had one tower that ended up buckling under the weight. So, I’ve graduated to wood and steel. No messing around any more. I kind of wish I had taken the approach of keeping the shoeboxes and taping a picture on the outside of the box. I get depressed when I think about the stacking and re-stacking opportunities I have missed. Talk about simple and uncomplicated! Once again, I strayed from the simple solution and went with an option that isn’t working for me in the long run. I wonder if you can buy shoeboxes?

Midwest Vacation- You have to Leave it to Like it

Semis and Cornfields
It’s been more than 6 months since I was last back in the Midwest. It’s funny how you can forget small details when you are gone for a while. One of the first things I noticed once I hit the open highway was the sea of semi-trucks. I had forgotten just how many of those things would be sharing the road with me. I’ve never really had a problem with them, but it does get a bit tedious when you are stuck in a caravan on a two-lane highway with nothing but orange cones for miles. One other driving item worth mentioning was the thank you wave. It has been a long time since someone bothered to wave a hand in thanks when I let them in front of me.

Old Friends and Older Music
While sitting in traffic one morning, I was scanning through the various radio stations and came across an old favorite: Bob and Tom. Sometimes they can be pretty funny. It’s just about the only morning show I could stand to listen to on the morning commute. So, I listened to it. Of course after that, I went shopping and bought yet another car doodad for my iPod so I wouldn’t have to rely on the radio the rest of my visit. It was either that or death by Journey and Fleetwood Mac.

Something else I had forgotten on the commute was the “vitamin yogurt” smell. There is this one section of road that goes past a Jim Beam plant and Grace Davison chemical plant. The result is this weird powdery, yeast, and fruit smell combo that I call “vitamin yogurt.” So gross. I completely forgot about holding my breath as I drove through there. There is another section of road near one of the malls that also has it’s own nasty smell. This one is affectionately known as “grilled meat butter.” I forget what kind of plant is located over there, but it smells like old oil from fast food fryers and God knows what else. The smell is so heavy you worry about it leaving a residue on you. Hmm. I probably missed my calling as a writer for Zagat's, huh?

Solid as a Rock
In addition to spending quality time with my family, I also had a chance to catch up with some friends and coworkers. It was nice to see everyone again and get caught up. It’s probably the most social I have been since the last time I visited. It is a startling contrast to life at home. I don’t make that observation in a negative way, but I would be lying if I said it wouldn’t be nice if some of my friends or family lived a bit closer to me. Almost everyone I saw this week asked me if I was happy with the move and if I had considered moving back. I think the move was one of the best decisions I’ve made in a long time. I can’t say that I would ever choose to move back, but visiting is nice. Here is a picture that sums up what I think is really weird about the area.

Hard to believe I left that for this, huh?

Family

It’s hard to write about family. Not only because they’ll read this and want to know if I am talking about them, but because it is impossible to be objective. I often think about how individuals growing up in the same environment can develop into such different people. In part, I believe it is because we influence each other and a choice that might work for one does not make it a choice that is right for the rest. The need for individuality drives us to make different choices, good or bad. When thinking about family dynamics, there does seem to be a sort of balancing act going on: the good kid and the bad kid, the over achiever and the mooch, the comedian and the straight man. It is so hard to break out of the roles you establish as kids. Some people don’t ever want to change and that’s fine. Some parents won’t let them anyway.

Family Matters
You have to tread lightly when it comes to family matters. No matter what level of honesty you think you have, there are always the invisible boundaries that you know you just can’t cross. Even the not so invisible, white elephant in the room issues are sometimes things you know you can’t talk about without drawing battle lines and risking some form of alienation. Whether it’s more current issues of child-rearing, spousal idiosyncrasies, and aging parents, or past injustices of divorce, remarriage, and blended families, any type of family get together can be a virtual mine field to try and traverse successfully without blowing up.

On one side of this double-edged sword, your family consists of your most loyal and staunch supporters. As your own personal cheering section, no one knows you and accepts you like family. In theory, you should feel safe and loved and respected enough to express thoughts and feelings without fear of repercussion. And then there is reality. The other side of the sword unfortunately can have a serrated edge. No one has the power to hurt more than family. The ones that know us the best always know where the bruises are to poke. Even when the intent is to help, there is a fine balance between constructive criticism and judgmental bitchiness. Not only is that balance affected by the delivery technique of the messenger, but it is also in the perception of the recipient. Sometimes it just seems easier to bite your tongue than swallow your foot.

Performance Anxiety
We all perform for our families. Whether it’s putting on a happy face to avoid pointed discussions about certain areas of your life, or passive-aggressive surliness because you weren’t hugged enough as a child, we all have roles we play within the family dynamic. Even if you don’t play that role anywhere else, it is hard to avoid falling back into it when reunited with the original cast. And, whether you agree with me or not, I believe most people possess the ability to read body language, tone and expressions for our loved ones. You learn it as a child, and hone it the rest of your life. Believe me, if a parent can distinguish between the different cries a baby makes, they can certainly tell when you are lying, placating, avoiding, hurting, and manipulating. And, you can read them just as easily. This can cause no small amount of anxiety for some, especially if they are trying to hide something unpleasant that they know their families would love to pounce on if given the right opening.

Family Fishbowl
Just when you start to think that your immediate family has enough drama in it, you get together with your extended family. This is a gossip lover’s dream come true. You get to dish the dirt that has been accumulating in your family closet since the last get together. It’s like a bizarre talent show. The joke tellers are flying high on the opportunity to tell the latest batch of bad jokes. The latest batch of offspring are dressed in their best onesies and ready to be passed around, kept up past bedtime and generally pissed off that a bunch of strangers are making fish-faces at them. It’s a potpourri of health issues, make-ups, break ups, births, deaths, and dry chicken dinners from this year’s buffet. It’s pool time and time outs. Board games and bored teens. Old family movies, old pictures, web cams and slide shows. Talent shows and family Jeopardy. It is chaos, confusion, comedy and camaraderie. And 12 short months until the next one.