Apples and Bananas (Happy Father’s Day)

I imagine that being a Dad is hard. Being a single one even more so. Having to wear all the hats in the house at the same time had to be a thankless and exhausting ordeal. It’s easier to look back on that time now and feel some appreciation for the effort and humor that went in to raising 4 kids on a shoestring budget. With that in mind, and probably because I am hungry while writing this (except for bananas), here are some fond memories of life with Dad.

Apples in the Spaghetti Sauce
Dad was the main cook in the house. Living on a budget meant thinking outside the box when it came to food and certainly not tolerating any picky eaters. Most meals were a free-for-all (except for pizza, which was a formal affair with knives and forks). If you didn’t get in there, then you watched your brother eat it all. Pasta in general was a cheap and easy solution as far as meals go. The secret (and there were many) was in the sauce. Dad ended up putting lots of secret ingredients in food. Most of the time it just meant a liberal helping of Worcestershire and wheat germ. He also put apples in the spaghetti sauce. He claims it was to absorb the acidity of the tomatoes. We soon adopted a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy when it came to meals.

Banana show and tell
The birds and the bees talk with your kids is probably not the easiest discussion you will have to have with them. If you are trying to figure out a memorable way to do it, think about this. Dad decided to use a show-and-tell approach. One day, there he was, armed with a banana and a handful of condoms. Hopefully, I don’t need to draw you a picture here, because I have essentially repressed the rest of that day.

Omelet Sandwich
Another recipe-on-a-budget option is eggs. You can do a lot with eggs (including, but not limited to hiding the leftovers). Sometimes you don’t really have an appreciation for culinary creativity until someone outside the family bears witness. One morning while I was in college, my Dad came up to visit. He brought breakfast with him. My roommate seemed very curious about the strange baggie, so I told her what it was. An omelet sandwich. This in and of itself wasn’t really that strange. What she seemed to find fascinating were the ingredients. (She was unaware of the food policy) I told her to just close her eyes and try it. It was good, and she agreed. I believe she also asked, “Are those hotdogs and rice?” Yes. Yes, they were.

Apple-Butter-Cider-Donut
Dad was always in the mood to play games. Board games, card games, video games, he was up for all of it. He won most of the time, which seemed totally unfair, but I suppose helped shape us in ways we may not even be fully aware. (I do enjoy beating the pants off my 9-year-old nephew at Battleship and my 4-year-old niece at Chutes and Ladders.) Anyway, one of the car games we would play was SOO beyond I Spy. We would test our memories by naming something using every letter of the alphabet. I think one time we made it all the way through and back again before we quit (hence, the apple-butter-cider-donut title). I think we probably just got hungry.

Happy Father’s Day, Dad. Love You Too.